Ever feel dread when it comes to the holidays, even more so when our days get shorter and more and more events are added to your calendar? Holiday cheer can soon turn into holiday avoidance and stress. It can significantly affect those with seasonal depression or social anxiety. Even if you love the holiday season, seasonal depression or social anxiety can make it harder to enjoy. With holiday events springing up left and right, it is expected to have some preemptive worry or stress thinking about everything to do and everyone to see. With so many holidays within a few short weeks and holiday decorations, advertisements, and planning already in full swing, we are constantly reminded of the coming holidays.
Seasonal depression, known clinically as seasonal affective disorder (SAD), should not be confused with holiday stress. It is due to the change in daylight, not the calendar. Seasonal Affective Disorder can cause depressive symptoms such as hopelessness, decreased motivation, dread, negative thoughts, trouble sleeping, changes in appetite, decreased energy, sadness, and frustration. These can contribute to isolation and avoidance. It often co-occurs with the time and stress of the holidays. SAD is a type of depression.
Social anxiety can be more than just being introverted, uncomfortable around big groups, or being shy. Social anxiety is a persistent fear of being judged, which can affect all aspects of your life. Social anxiety can cause physical symptoms, including increased heart rate, it may cause you to blush, trembling, change in appetite in social situations, lower self-esteem, increasing negative self-talk. It can increase anxiety around public speaking. Social anxiety can cause one to panic in social settings, fearing criticism, judgment, and negative opinions about oneself. It may feel debilitating and overwhelming with many different holiday events and expectations to socialize and reunite with family, friends, and coworkers.
Just because you have social anxiety or seasonal affective disorder does not mean you cannot have holiday spirit or excitement. There are many things about the holidays that can make you get in the holiday spirit, such as enjoying a classic holiday movie, decorating your home, eating a sweet treat, or remembering a fond memory.
There is often a feeling of abundance. Whether that’s food, gifts, people, or events, there is always something more you could do or something. It is overwhelming to feel you need to match this energy of abundance, to give so much of yourself to a group or tradition or event at work, with family, with friends, or even just having that social or cultural pressure to have holiday spirit on your own. There are traditions and expectations, but setting boundaries for what you can do, give, and be present for is important. You cannot do everything, and that is okay.
It is also okay not to want to be in the spirit and just get yourself through the holidays. We see a lot of shoulds this time of year: how you should be celebrating, what you should be doing, what you should be giving, and invitations galore with people from all aspects of your life. It can be overwhelming. There is always more you can do, traditions to keep up, and gifts to give; it is important to recognize what is possible, what is important to you, and what you can limit or say no to.
How do we move forward?
Set realistic expectations:
Don’t overextend your yeses; plan for time to recharge and reset. A lot of things at that time of year can feel like obligations, and you are not able to say no. If you really cannot cut back on the events or priorities, try to leave a bit early, look at your calendar, and find a day or a few hours to do something that is just for yourself.
Find a safe person:
If you are going to a gathering, find a safe person by bringing a friend, finding your favorite aunt you can talk to, or relying on your partner. If there isn’t a person who can be there physically, try to communicate with them by text or phone when needed. Give yourself a break to talk to them to keep mental clarity and get support to keep going, whether going to the bathroom to be alone for a few minutes or going back to your car to regroup, saying you left something. Having a safe person can be instrumental in finding peace and support through symptoms of social anxiety, fearing judgment around those around you, or sadness and urges to isolate that may come through seasonal affective disorder.
Prioritize self-care and your mental health
Ensure you drink enough water, get 7-8 hours of sleep, and eat balanced meals. Stick to prescribed medication and schedule therapy appointments ahead of time. Maintaining consistency with your self-care at a time when your routine may look different can provide you with stability. In addition, try avoiding excessive consumption of caffeine and alcohol.
Prepare
Figure out the details and organize all your obligations ahead of time. When you have Seasonal Affective Disorder, it is easy to avoid obligations; depression makes us unmotivated. While social anxiety can cause us avoidance as well, it also can create patterns of overthinking, rumination, and self-doubt. Preparing how you will manage your calendar during this time, planning on any dishes you will have to make, gifts you will have to give, transportation, and even what to wear. This preparation can be difficult, but starting early, asking for help when needed, and staying organized can help.
Treatment
Seasonal Affective Disorder treatment includes psychotherapy, light therapy, taking vitamin D, and antidepressant medication. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a great form of psychotherapy that challenges thoughts and behaviors. Treatment for social anxiety can include psychotherapy, medication, and support groups. However, first, it is vital to get an accurate diagnosis by assessing the symptoms and behaviors of a mental health clinician. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) psychotherapy is also an excellent tool for social anxiety; antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications are recommended.
Sources:
nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/seasonal-affective-disorder
